"Use your gifts." When my mom said it, she usually meant my creative gifts, or something equally as abstract.
As an officiant who sees a lot of wedding presents in the course of my work, I say, "Use your gifts," and I am talking about the coffee cups, tea towels, and all the nice things marrying couples get to celebrate their new life together. Except for many, the celebration never gets off the ground with the very items people have chosen lovingly.
I went to an estate sale recently, and noticed that many of the items appeared to be wedding gifts from the 1950s, still in their original boxes -- unopened, saved, and put away until later. The antique dealers who definitely came later in this couple's life were delighted. I wondered how many holidays, or just rainy Tuesday afternoons, might have been made more special if somebody had worked up the courage to break out a stack of dessert dishes or light candles in the silver candle-holders.
Use your gifts. Get them out, put them on the table or in the bathroom, and make them a part of your existence. Life is very, very short. Observe every day as if it is a gift, too. Because it is.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Remembering Missing Loved Ones at a Wedding
There are many ways to honor the ones who can't be present in body at your wedding, but are either there in spirit, or as a treasured memory. For example, a chair with a single rose can be used to symbolize somebody who is absent from the celebration. Or, a table can be set up with photos and/or items that represent missing family members. One bride with limited space displayed a single colorful bouquet with vastly varied flowers in a dramatic crystal vase. To each flower, she tied a person's name. The rose was for her mother, the daisy for her grandmother, etc. She also found some very ornate rooster feathers to complete the arrangement, for the groom's grandfather who had been a farmer.
If a visual representation isn't exactly what you have in mind, how about offering a selection of music that is meaningful? This can be done either during the wedding itself, or at the reception. If you can't face having a father/daughter dance without Dad, why not consider having a slide show during the song that reminds you of him?
Just because somebody you love is beyond the reach of your arms, doesn't mean that your heart can't hold him or her close.
If a visual representation isn't exactly what you have in mind, how about offering a selection of music that is meaningful? This can be done either during the wedding itself, or at the reception. If you can't face having a father/daughter dance without Dad, why not consider having a slide show during the song that reminds you of him?
Just because somebody you love is beyond the reach of your arms, doesn't mean that your heart can't hold him or her close.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Being a Gracious Gift Receiver
Engagements begin an onslaught of gift buying and receiving. Which end of the process you are on often depends on who you are in the wedding scenario. If you are a bride or groom, you may be up to your nuptials in wrapping paper. Most of the gifts to you will be from family and friends. However, many couples give gifts to each other, and therein lies the potential for a great token of love to be offered and received -- or feelings to be hurt intensely at an already emotionally-charged time.
In my experience (and after so many years, it is vast and varied)women tend to be the worst offenders when it comes to being lousy recipients of presents. There is a tendency to be a critic of what is being offered, and to ignore the intent of the giver. Of particular annoyance to me is the unrealistic expectation of many brides (probably spurred on by television commercials and the often predatory "wedding industry") over the appropriate size and cost of engagement rings. An engagement ring is a gift. It is a token of love and affection. Being a pill about carat size is not just ungracious -- it's greedy.
I knew one groom who spent weeks shopping for and outfitting a toolbox for his fiancee to carry with her in the trunk of her car when she traveled. He humbled himself and bought "cute" tools, and all kinds of road flares, reflectors, etc. His underlying message was, "I want you to be safe and taken care of no matter where you are." Fortunately, his bride understood his intention, and made a big fuss (in the good sense) over his gift. He loved her, he showed it in his efforts, and she responded with love in return. That's the way it's supposed to go.
It's a rough world, and the way we pay tribute to each other is incredibly important. Try to be sensitive to the underlying motive and message of what your beloved selects not only for an engagement or wedding gift -- but for anniversary presents, Mothers Day, birthdays, etc. I think the saddest words I ever hear anybody say about a spouse -- and one's that are a heads-up for potential problems later on -- are, "She/he never likes anything I do."
In my experience (and after so many years, it is vast and varied)women tend to be the worst offenders when it comes to being lousy recipients of presents. There is a tendency to be a critic of what is being offered, and to ignore the intent of the giver. Of particular annoyance to me is the unrealistic expectation of many brides (probably spurred on by television commercials and the often predatory "wedding industry") over the appropriate size and cost of engagement rings. An engagement ring is a gift. It is a token of love and affection. Being a pill about carat size is not just ungracious -- it's greedy.
I knew one groom who spent weeks shopping for and outfitting a toolbox for his fiancee to carry with her in the trunk of her car when she traveled. He humbled himself and bought "cute" tools, and all kinds of road flares, reflectors, etc. His underlying message was, "I want you to be safe and taken care of no matter where you are." Fortunately, his bride understood his intention, and made a big fuss (in the good sense) over his gift. He loved her, he showed it in his efforts, and she responded with love in return. That's the way it's supposed to go.
It's a rough world, and the way we pay tribute to each other is incredibly important. Try to be sensitive to the underlying motive and message of what your beloved selects not only for an engagement or wedding gift -- but for anniversary presents, Mothers Day, birthdays, etc. I think the saddest words I ever hear anybody say about a spouse -- and one's that are a heads-up for potential problems later on -- are, "She/he never likes anything I do."
Monday, May 9, 2011
A Word to Photographers About the Marriage License
I take the proper signing of the marriage license very seriously, for my couples who are fortunate enough to be recognized as legal partners in the state where I officiate weddings. I also understand the "photo op" characteristics of the signing of a marriage license. I get it. However, I have begun to get testy when a photographer grabs the license away from a couple mid-signature to get a better angle, or otherwise interferes with the execution of a very important document. It's not a prop. It's an important piece of paper that has often created many challenges for a couple to procure.
I am tolerant of whatever photos a photographer and a couple agree they want. I will cooperate with almost anything. However, I am beginning to push back -- HARD -- when the license is manhandled or not treated with the seriousness that it deserves. It's my responsibility to make sure that it is signed, sealed, and delivered in accordance with the law. My couples deserve at least that much from me.
I am tolerant of whatever photos a photographer and a couple agree they want. I will cooperate with almost anything. However, I am beginning to push back -- HARD -- when the license is manhandled or not treated with the seriousness that it deserves. It's my responsibility to make sure that it is signed, sealed, and delivered in accordance with the law. My couples deserve at least that much from me.
Virginia's House -- Yesterday Meets Today's Weddings
Natalie Stahl, owner of Virginia’s House and co-founder of the West Valley Wedding Association, takes pride in the family-like atmosphere and attention she devotes to brides that marry in her home. Virginia’s House is the West Valley’s original "boutique" event venue.
Founded in November 1998, this charming wedding and reception venue is located in historic downtown Glendale. Virginia’s House is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places as the CH Tinker home, built in 1913. The grounds include the home, a spacious lawn with gazebo for ceremonies, stunning flower gardens, and a covered patio for receptions.
While Virginia’s House can accommodate parties of up to 125 people, Natalie notes that a trend she has seen for fall 2011 and spring 2012 is that “weddings/receptions are getting smaller (guest size). Our economic climate has forced people to pare down their parties while still keeping them memorable and fantastic.”
Unlike many venues that are new to the wedding business, Natalie has more than a decade of experience “giving our brides the best possible wedding experience with the vendors that I love the most.”
This experience, she says, differentiates Virginia’s House from other wedding reception venues. “We have been in business since 1998 and have learned the ropes. We have lots of weddings under our belt and lots of continuing friends because of it. We love our brides like family and try to stay in touch with them,” Natalie added.
This personalized experience is one of the reasons Virginia’s House has won WeddingWire Bride’s Choice Award in 2009, 2010 and 2011. In 2010, they were awarded the Ruth Byrne Historic Preservation Award.
While Virginia’s House is known for hosting weddings and receptions, they actually hold many kinds of events, including showers, luncheons, retirement parties and even proms. Wedding prices range from $150-$3,675. For brides on a budget, Natalie stated, “Is our pricing outside your budget? Just ask. There are many ways we can help trim it down to fit. We even have all-inclusive packages if that’s what you’re looking for.”
Natalie’s dedication to making a wedding memorable and stress-free is evident in her advice to Phoenix area brides and grooms: “Have fun! This is one of the greatest times of your lives – make it memorable for the right reasons. And let us help where we can. We’ve been doing this a long time and can help take the stress away.”
Contact information:
Email: info@virginiashouse.com
Address: 6838 N. 59th Drive, Glendale, AZ
Facebook: www.facebook.com/virginiashouse,
Website: www.virginiashouse.com
Phone: 623.435.0878
Founded in November 1998, this charming wedding and reception venue is located in historic downtown Glendale. Virginia’s House is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places as the CH Tinker home, built in 1913. The grounds include the home, a spacious lawn with gazebo for ceremonies, stunning flower gardens, and a covered patio for receptions.
While Virginia’s House can accommodate parties of up to 125 people, Natalie notes that a trend she has seen for fall 2011 and spring 2012 is that “weddings/receptions are getting smaller (guest size). Our economic climate has forced people to pare down their parties while still keeping them memorable and fantastic.”
Unlike many venues that are new to the wedding business, Natalie has more than a decade of experience “giving our brides the best possible wedding experience with the vendors that I love the most.”
This experience, she says, differentiates Virginia’s House from other wedding reception venues. “We have been in business since 1998 and have learned the ropes. We have lots of weddings under our belt and lots of continuing friends because of it. We love our brides like family and try to stay in touch with them,” Natalie added.
This personalized experience is one of the reasons Virginia’s House has won WeddingWire Bride’s Choice Award in 2009, 2010 and 2011. In 2010, they were awarded the Ruth Byrne Historic Preservation Award.
While Virginia’s House is known for hosting weddings and receptions, they actually hold many kinds of events, including showers, luncheons, retirement parties and even proms. Wedding prices range from $150-$3,675. For brides on a budget, Natalie stated, “Is our pricing outside your budget? Just ask. There are many ways we can help trim it down to fit. We even have all-inclusive packages if that’s what you’re looking for.”
Natalie’s dedication to making a wedding memorable and stress-free is evident in her advice to Phoenix area brides and grooms: “Have fun! This is one of the greatest times of your lives – make it memorable for the right reasons. And let us help where we can. We’ve been doing this a long time and can help take the stress away.”
Contact information:
Email: info@virginiashouse.com
Address: 6838 N. 59th Drive, Glendale, AZ
Facebook: www.facebook.com/virginiashouse,
Website: www.virginiashouse.com
Phone: 623.435.0878
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Interview with West Valley Wedding Association
Jody Serey of Spirit and Light is one of the founding members of the West Valley Wedding Association. Located in Glendale, Arizona, Jody is available for non-religious and religious weddings, vow renewals, commitment ceremonies, memorial services and funerals, and other observances and celebrations.
Jody founded Spirit and Light in 2001. She has won the Brides’ Choice Award for several years running, including 2011. Her complete services typically run from $150 to $200. She particularly enjoys officiating smaller events because “they tend to be more focused, intimate, and rooted in priorities that I can support with both written text and emotional conviction. Therefore, I try to keep my fees affordable so that almost anybody can secure the services of an officiant who is trained, literate, and really does give a rip about what is going on.”
In addition, Jody says her wedding officiant services set her apart in the Valley because “I do not use templates, and each ceremony is created for a particular couple or occasion. The service I provide is uniformly high quality, personal, and professional, regardless of the size of the gathering or the circumstances that have brought us all together.”
For Phoenix area brides who are looking to incorporate some sort of unity ceremony in their wedding, Jody has experience performing sand ceremonies, unity candle ceremonies, hand bindings, rose ceremonies (to honor or thank guests or family members), wine ceremonies, and a variety of other observances and rituals. She can also assist in creating an original commemoration for a particular occasion.
When asked about what trends she sees for fall 2011 and spring 2012, Jody stated, “I see a trend away from over the top displays of ‘edginess’ and a return to more meaningful, memorable observances.”
When asked what she advice she would offer to a couple making a life commitment, Jody recommends, “Keep your ceremony simple, tender, and worth remembering. It is so much more than just a momentary delay until you can get to the party and the reception.”
Jody’s passion for creating personalized wedding ceremonies shows in her work. She also believes it is important that both the wedding officiant and the couple believe they are a good fit for each other. She added, “Every wedding day is remembered. I want my couples to remember theirs for the right reasons.”
Contact information:
Email: jody@spiritandlight.net
Address: 7413 West Oraibi Drive, Glendale, AZ 85308
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/spiritandlight?ref=sgm
Blog: http://spiritandlight.blogspot.com/
Phone: Office, 623-561-0240; Cell, 623-451-0834
Jody founded Spirit and Light in 2001. She has won the Brides’ Choice Award for several years running, including 2011. Her complete services typically run from $150 to $200. She particularly enjoys officiating smaller events because “they tend to be more focused, intimate, and rooted in priorities that I can support with both written text and emotional conviction. Therefore, I try to keep my fees affordable so that almost anybody can secure the services of an officiant who is trained, literate, and really does give a rip about what is going on.”
In addition, Jody says her wedding officiant services set her apart in the Valley because “I do not use templates, and each ceremony is created for a particular couple or occasion. The service I provide is uniformly high quality, personal, and professional, regardless of the size of the gathering or the circumstances that have brought us all together.”
For Phoenix area brides who are looking to incorporate some sort of unity ceremony in their wedding, Jody has experience performing sand ceremonies, unity candle ceremonies, hand bindings, rose ceremonies (to honor or thank guests or family members), wine ceremonies, and a variety of other observances and rituals. She can also assist in creating an original commemoration for a particular occasion.
When asked about what trends she sees for fall 2011 and spring 2012, Jody stated, “I see a trend away from over the top displays of ‘edginess’ and a return to more meaningful, memorable observances.”
When asked what she advice she would offer to a couple making a life commitment, Jody recommends, “Keep your ceremony simple, tender, and worth remembering. It is so much more than just a momentary delay until you can get to the party and the reception.”
Jody’s passion for creating personalized wedding ceremonies shows in her work. She also believes it is important that both the wedding officiant and the couple believe they are a good fit for each other. She added, “Every wedding day is remembered. I want my couples to remember theirs for the right reasons.”
Contact information:
Email: jody@spiritandlight.net
Address: 7413 West Oraibi Drive, Glendale, AZ 85308
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/spiritandlight?ref=sgm
Blog: http://spiritandlight.blogspot.com/
Phone: Office, 623-561-0240; Cell, 623-451-0834
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hey Bartender!
Chad Zaneis founded Hey Bartender! Professional Bartending Services in 2006. Hey Bartender! is a mobile bar service which covers the entire Phoenix metro area. Hey Bartender!, a member of the West Valley Wedding Association, specializes in:
• Bartenders-4-Hire--available by-the-hour
• Portable bars and frozen drink machine rentals
• Full-service beverage packages for any event size/type/location
When asked what makes Hey Bartender! different from other Valley bartending providers, Chad stated, “All of our staff is state certified in AZ Liquor Laws and covered under our $2M Liquor Liability Insurance policy, which is double the industry standard. If you don’t have Liquor Insurance you really shouldn’t be serving alcohol on your property in these law-suit-happy times.”
Chad added that their flexible services, which start at just $23/hr., are available for all kinds of events, including weddings, birthday and retirement parties, corporate events and more. As the owner of Hey Bartender!, Chad is particularly proud of the local awards his bartending company has garnered, including Best of Phoenix, Merchant Circle top vendor, and Momentville Hotlist member. They were honored in The Wedding Chronicle cover article Best Weddings of 2008.
Their clientele include Arizona State University, State of Arizona, UofA Alumni Phoenix Chapter, AMC Movie Theaters, Microsoft, Bebe stores, Vitamin Water, many valley caterers, special event venues, party planners, concierges, professional athletes, political figures, local celebrities and various charitable organizations. In addition, Hey Bartender! will beat any written price quote from any other insured bar service. It’s our Best Price Guarantee and you simply can’t beat it!
When asked what trends he sees for fall 2011 and spring 2012 weddings, Chad said, “The classic champagne toast seems to be going away. Also brides and grooms are looking for more unique/untraditional venues for their receptions.”
For advice on fun champagne toast alternates, consult with your bartender for options such as a custom cocktail or drink that complements your wedding theme.
Chad, who clearly enjoys his job of bringing fun and great service to any event, loves the old Frank Sinatra quote, “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
His advice for a stress free event is for brides and grooms to hire good vendors and let them do what it is they get paid to do and life will be good!
Contact information:
Phone: 602.410 ABAR (2227)
Website: www.HeyBartender-AZ.com
Email: info@HeyBartender-AZ.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hey-Bartender-LLC-Professional-Bartending-Services/160342796541
• Bartenders-4-Hire--available by-the-hour
• Portable bars and frozen drink machine rentals
• Full-service beverage packages for any event size/type/location
When asked what makes Hey Bartender! different from other Valley bartending providers, Chad stated, “All of our staff is state certified in AZ Liquor Laws and covered under our $2M Liquor Liability Insurance policy, which is double the industry standard. If you don’t have Liquor Insurance you really shouldn’t be serving alcohol on your property in these law-suit-happy times.”
Chad added that their flexible services, which start at just $23/hr., are available for all kinds of events, including weddings, birthday and retirement parties, corporate events and more. As the owner of Hey Bartender!, Chad is particularly proud of the local awards his bartending company has garnered, including Best of Phoenix, Merchant Circle top vendor, and Momentville Hotlist member. They were honored in The Wedding Chronicle cover article Best Weddings of 2008.
Their clientele include Arizona State University, State of Arizona, UofA Alumni Phoenix Chapter, AMC Movie Theaters, Microsoft, Bebe stores, Vitamin Water, many valley caterers, special event venues, party planners, concierges, professional athletes, political figures, local celebrities and various charitable organizations. In addition, Hey Bartender! will beat any written price quote from any other insured bar service. It’s our Best Price Guarantee and you simply can’t beat it!
When asked what trends he sees for fall 2011 and spring 2012 weddings, Chad said, “The classic champagne toast seems to be going away. Also brides and grooms are looking for more unique/untraditional venues for their receptions.”
For advice on fun champagne toast alternates, consult with your bartender for options such as a custom cocktail or drink that complements your wedding theme.
Chad, who clearly enjoys his job of bringing fun and great service to any event, loves the old Frank Sinatra quote, “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
His advice for a stress free event is for brides and grooms to hire good vendors and let them do what it is they get paid to do and life will be good!
Contact information:
Phone: 602.410 ABAR (2227)
Website: www.HeyBartender-AZ.com
Email: info@HeyBartender-AZ.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hey-Bartender-LLC-Professional-Bartending-Services/160342796541
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