Etiquette -- It's Not the Law

My mother wrote etiquette books and was considered a true expert on the subject. Believe me, I know the proscribed manner for doing almost anything -- including when to set the book aside.

Etiquette came into being to help make interaction between people less stressful, and to give everybody a sense of security in knowing that as long as certain dos and don'ts were followed, everybody could be more comfortable.

Or, that was the general idea...

I have seen fistfights almost break out over what should and shouldn't go on at a wedding. Please take my word for it, no rulebook or tradition is as important as preserving the J-O-Y that is supposed to be the centerpiece of the occasion. If a bride wants her mother and stepmother to walk her down the aisle and all are in agreement, then that is what should happen. If a groom wants to walk his bride up the aisle, with the bride's father on the other side, then just be quiet and take in the smiles.

The bottom line is this: whatever is meaningful to the couple, short of a live sacrifice, should be absorbed with grace and good humor by everybody else. Moms, I'm looking right at you now, and I want you to repeat this mantra: "It's not my wedding, it's not my wedding, it's not my wedding."