Weddings and the Recession

It's no secret that the country has been in a recession. Almost every facet of our existence has been impacted either directly -- with the reduction of income or the loss of jobs -- or indirectly in the form of the emotional toll that hard times take on the collection consciousness.

Initially, many wedding services and vendors clung to the folk wisdom that weddings (and funerals) are "recession-proof." What I have observed is that although people are not refraining from dying during the downturn (although many funerals are definitely feeling more hands-on and homespun than they have in recent years) -- many couples are definitely postponing the wedding until better days. That doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't getting married. But the celebration itself -- the dresses, cake, flowers, and photographs -- are often being pushed into the future.

Although many couples are choosing prolonged cohabitation over a civil ceremony, others are still tying the knot legally. A genuine deterrent, at least in Arizona, has been the steady increase in the cost of the license itself. By the time a couple leaves the courthouse, they are out about $100 just for the license itself. If they choose to complete the job before they leave the tender embrace of the courthouse, there are additional costs, and a marrying atmosphere about as tender as the department of motor vehicles.

I encourage couples who want to marry but can't afford a wedding to procure their license, and then find a sympathetic and affordable officiant (I am one) and a couple of witnesses to seal the deal. It can be a day that feels like a real wedding, but costs exactly the same as a stripped bare civil ceremony.

The recession will eventually ease up, or people will decide that life goes on, regardless of what the economy does. I predict that we will figure out again how to observe the special times and celebrate them. As a society, we always do.

eBay is Okay

Times are tough, but the tough are shopping eBay for wedding necessities.

As an officiant, I have made good use of eBay's offerings for such items as stoles, robes, and supplies for booklets. During my shopping forays, I have also taken the opportunity to see what other wedding-related items are available. What I found is that almost anything and everything you can imagine is available on eBay.

In my opinion, the best bargains are frequently found with non-professional sellers, or individuals who are selling personal items are not running an online store, per se.

However, rings, dresses, centerpieces, arches, decorations, beauty supplies -- EVERYTHING -- is there. So make a shopping list, set a budget, and give yourself enough time to hunt down what you need.

The Recession: Don't Take It Personally

These are strange days. The economy has brought out many different traits in people that were less obvious in more rosy times. However, many folks insist on pushing forward as if nothing has changed, when in fact everything seems a bit "off," if not downright scary.

All things wedding have been impacted, too. Bridal budgets are strained, and couples are planning honeymoons with an eye not only on location but also on timing, as in, "If I take time off now to go, will it jeopardize my job?"

I have noticed that brides and grooms -- who for the most part used to be an exceedingly polite demographic group -- have gotten far more budget sensitive than in former days. I have always prided myself on being affordable, as I treat my officiant work more as a public outreach and less as hard-nosed business. However, I think that if I quoted a quarter somebody would try to negotiate three nickles plus a table grace.

An unwelcome trend has been the occasional hijacking of my work. Asking to see samples of past ceremonies is acceptable. Asking for samples, then having a friend or relative use one to marry you is not.

The irony is, I have always been generous about permitting my work to be used free of charge. All one has to do is ask. I also keep some basic ceremonies posted on my website which are there for general use by whoever wants to print off a copy.

It would be easy to get thin-skinned about the shift in the air temperature even in a wedding climate. However, it would also be a mistake. The public is simply extremely uneasy about the current state of affairs. Their periodic forays into bad behavior are not personal attacks.

When dealing with the public, it is important to remember that you are just a blip on their collective radar screen, and right now it all looks like incoming.

Try to gracious, patient, and magnanimous. Fake it if you have to.