Why I'm Not Expensive

My work as an officiant falls somewhere between a ministry and a sole proprietorship. My goal is not money-oriented, but I do need to make something to keep going. However, my financial hybrid status also causes some conflicts.

I prefer weddings that do not resemble coronations. I find that the smaller events tend to be more focused, intimate, and rooted in priorities that I can support with both text and conviction. Therefore, I try to keep my fees affordable so that almost anybody can secure the services of an officiant who is trained, literate, and really does give a rip about what is going on.

However, because I am affordable, I am sometimes seen as being naive, "not upscale," and status deprived. Somebody actually said to me, "I think you get what you pay for. So I want to pay more than you charge."

I am actually okay with all of that.

If a couple wants to pay an exorbitant amount to somebody to marry them, and it will make them feel "more married," I say go for it. But you won't be hiring me.

In the meantime, I have made the decision to stick with my modest rates, because I think it's the right thing to do. Somebody has to draw the line, and I just did.

eBay is Okay

Times are tough, but the tough are shopping eBay for wedding necessities.

As an officiant, I have made good use of eBay's offerings for such items as stoles, robes, and supplies for booklets. During my shopping forays, I have also taken the opportunity to see what other wedding-related items are available. What I found is that almost anything and everything you can imagine is available on eBay.

In my opinion, the best bargains are frequently found with non-professional sellers, or individuals who are selling personal items are not running an online store, per se.

However, rings, dresses, centerpieces, arches, decorations, beauty supplies -- EVERYTHING -- is there. So make a shopping list, set a budget, and give yourself enough time to hunt down what you need.

Regarding Robes and Riches

Most conversations these days soon turn to money, and couples planning weddings hear all kinds of talk. Perhaps the most difficult entity to evaluate in terms of fairness of fees is the officiant. Other goods and services are far easier to evaluate. However, the person actually performing the ceremony is not so easy to pin down.

As an officiant, I hold the personal view that one should not look at couples being married as merely an income stream. Even the most sophisticated of bride or groom is vulnerable to the whims of the celebrant conducting the ceremony. I am not suggesting that the service be considered a charitable donation, or a love offering. However, I do hold that even the couple in very modest circumstances deserves an articulately crafted and presented service, that respects their particular beliefs and cultures, and resonates with their preferences. A cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all, fill-in-the-blanks wedding ceremony is unacceptable -- especially if it comes with a price tag in the hundreds of dollars (or more).

When asked why my rates are low, I reply that it's a matter of ethics with me. Just because I could charge more does not mean that it is right -- or necessary -- to do so.